Saturday, April 23, 2005

At last my plan...

At last my plan for the great gay escape from planet Earth, and our subsequent domination of the cosmos, can be carried out! Once the techniques of human hibernation have been perfected and we have learned to reproduce homosexually, we shall build our spaceships and travel to the stars! There we will found an empire of peace, having left the last vestiges of heterosexual aggressiveness behind!

If human hibernation becomes a possibility, people — at least the richer, and the sicker ones — may choose to sleep for twenty or thirty years at a time, perhaps losing only one tenth of that from their actual lifespan, in bets that future technology will have a cure for their disease, or even better ways of extending their lives, or in order to enjoy the fruits of compound interest on their savings. What that would do to the pensions industry is anyone's guess. If someone entered hibernation at age 25, for 45 years, arranging for their pension contributions to be paid in annually, then awoke at chronological age 70 but biological age 30, expecting to be able to draw their pension for another 50 or 60 years, there'd pretty soon be a lot of bankrupt insurance companies.

What excuse will pope Benedict come up with when the first gay couple presents him with a baby conceived by both parents? If science removes the fig leaf that homosexual sex is necessarily childless, then the various religions will be left with only naked bigotry as justification for their strictures.

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